I feel so proud when friends tell me their parents like me. Like damn right they do, I am a delight.
the sound of teenage girls laughing near you when you’re by yourself is literally the most terrifying thing a person can experience
why iphones gotta take two million years to turn back on after they die like you plug em in and you’re all ready to start texting again but they’re like “nope. i gotta take some time for myself. figure out who i am. you hurt me too much the last time. let me think.”